So much for me being good. I was just trying on a new outfit and minding my own business when Irfan came into the changing booth with me. I knew what he wanted. I wasn't at all against it either. So we had some fun that afternoon. Then he doesn't call me. He is driving me nuts. I really like him. I know he's married. I know I should stay away from him. He keeps saying that he's going to be faithful to his wife. Eventually he comes back to me. For some reason I just can't say no to him. Maybe it's because he was my first. I don't know. He's my biggest weakness. I just wish he'd quit toying with my emotions.
I felt hurt and needed some attention so I called up Jack Landchild. He's a professor at the university. He's a bit of a slob but very nice. He's also very shy. I guess I went after Jack for the challenge. If I could win over this shy guy then I could win over anyone.
Yes it took me some time but eventually I got him into my bed. Jack is a good man. He should have found a wife and had a house full of kids. Who knows why he didn't. Maybe some woman broke his heart. We never made any promises to each other. We just had a really good time for a few weeks. After that, well I stopped returning his calls. It's terrible I know especially since that's exactly how Irfan treats me.
The next time I got lonely I called up Serdar Grundstrom. He's also a professor. I never had his class but Amanda had classes with him. Things went very slowly with Serdar. Eventually I made my move. He wasn't that much fun actually. I got bored really quick.
So I called up Hayden. Hayden Midlock was the first professor I ever had at the university. He is very special to me. I use to think that he's the kind of man I'd like to marry someday. I don't really think about marriage much anymore but I still think about Hayden. There is just something about him. He's always trying to take care of me. It's nice to have someone treat you like that sometimes. Hayden and were constant companions for a few weeks there. Then I found a job in show business. Suddenly our schedules clashed. We just drifted apart.
Then I met Mitch's cousin Corey Byall. Corey is an incredible guy. He is SO outgoing. He's great fun to be around.
I will admit that while Corey and I were dating, or whatever you call what I do, I did spend a lot of time thinking about forever with him. I can almost see me being with only him for the rest of my life. Almost. Then these commitment fears creep up and I flee the building.
You never know where you'll meet a good guy. One morning I met Colin Day while he delivered my mail. He has gorgeous eyes. I found myself flirting with him right there by the street. He's just hot. Unfortunately he was working so we couldn't talk long. I did get his number though. I will definitely call him back.
This is Kenneth Sartor. He's a really nice guy I met while buying groceries. He is kind and sweet. He does like to tell dirty jokes though. That is one of my few complaints about him. I know it sounds weird but dirty jokes just turn me off. Once Kenneth figured that out, he shut up and kissed me. We had a great time after that.
Jay Wong is a barista I met. He is a real doll. He is cute and funny. He has a ton of self confidence. He made me feel safe and secure.
When I was with him I had dreams about my biological family. I would dream about how my Uncle Xavier would play with me when I was a little girl. Xavier was Aiden and Arics dad. I miss him.
One day, I stopped by the to see if Jay was working. That's when I met Colby Nott. Apparently the baristas work in a TON of locations. So every time I go downtown there is a different guy there. It's like a renewable resource or something. So when I take a friend out for some public woohoo, afterwards I chat up the newest barista. I have met a lot of good guys that way.
Colby was spending the night when the most awful thing happened. Someone tried to rob me.
Luckily I had splurged and bought a state of the art alarm system. The cops showed up quickly. Maybe it's because I'm famous now. I am an icon after all.
Yes the police officer Alvin arrested the burglar. While Colby thanked him for saving our lives, I went and saved a life myself. I let the poor thief go. She seemed harmless after all. I guess I felt sorry for her because I was once a thief. You know it was that job I told you I really didn't like. I could tell that this girl was just like me. She was just trying to pay the bills. She wasn't really a bad person.
Alvin got VERY angry with me. I tried to make him think it was an accident. I don't think he bought it. Eventually he just stomped back to his car and left. Not long after Colby left. He's a really sweet guy. I don't think he understood why I did what I did and I didn't feel like explaining myself.
Finally I managed to get Colin to come over. I immediately picked up where I left off. Colin is another keeper. He would make some woman a really good husband.
You know I actually found myself asking him if he was taken. I never do that. I don't usually care. I was very relieved to find that he'd never been married or engaged. I considered that my green light. I convinced him to spend the night. He actually spent several nights. Then suddenly he stopped calling me. I'm still not sure why.
I did received a call from my burglar. Turns out her name is Ivy Copur. I invited her over. We're great friends now. I can relate to her and she is grateful to me. Oh, we're JUST friends by the way. No, I've only still been with one woman and that's Kendal. Sometimes I miss Kendal. She calls me sometimes. She's going to be graduating soon I think.
Well after Colin stopped returning my calls I started getting the urge to have public displays of affection. Jay was all for it. He is outgoing after all.
Corey took a lot more convincing. Eventually he did come around.
I even managed to get Colin to have some fun with me. We just ran into each other downtown. I was actually there with someone else if you can believe it. When I saw Colin I ditched Colby in a hurry. Colin didn't explain why he hadn't called. We had a very good time and then he left. He left me wanting more.
But since I couldn't have Colin, I settled for Kenneth. Kenneth is a sweet dreamer. He reads more into our relationship than is truly there. I really need to stop seeing him. He needs a good woman and I don't know that I qualify. Kenneth did make me very happy though. Until I realized that I had been with ten different people both privately and publicly (thus completing her lifetime want of woohooing 20 people). Somehow that number made me feel a little unclean if you know what I mean.
You know after my public woohoo marathon I got to thinking. Is this all there is to life. What ever happened to my new beginning? I was going to be different. Ok, I was going to consider being different. You know I met this woman Aiyana recently. She has had more lovers than you can shake a stick at. Lately she spends her time downtown looking for a new love and crying her eyes out. It's just so sad. Do I really want to end up like that? Will I be some dried up old hag with to many miles on her?
Maybe that's why I found myself back with Kenneth. He treats me well. He can be so kind and gentle. I don't love him but I wish I did. I wish I could honestly say that I loved someone. I'm starting to think that I don't know what love is.
I had a conversation with my sister Hope that really set my mind a whirling. Well actually she's my niece because my adopted brother adopted her but biologically she's my baby sister. It's really confusing sometimes. The entire Avery family tree is a little tangled. Anyway, I'm standing there talking about the weather and she proceeds to tell me about how her dad said that I like to play in changing booths. I must have turned the most incredible shade of pink. She's to young to understand but not to young to repeat. That's when I realized that everyone knows about my lifestyle. I know that no one in my family approves. Some of them, like Blake, tend to be a little straight laced. Of course even he loosened up at least one in his life. Still, a few years ago I would have called me a slut. It made me wonder if maybe I am one. I don't want to be. More and more I find myself wanting just one man. Sometimes I even think about having a baby. I use to really want to do that.
But if I want a serious relationship, which guy do I settle on? Or, if instead I just want to have a baby, which guy do I choose? Or should I just dump them all and find someone new?
I'm not even sure any of it matters. Right when I'm deciding to change my life, Irfan stops by unannounced. Why can't I resist him? Just one touch and I'm leading him to the bedroom. This guy is completely unavailable. I could never have anything serious with him. And do I really want to have a baby with a married man?
My life is at a crossroads and I have no idea which way to go. I've only managed to make one decision. I'm going to move. I've saved my money and I'm going to buy my parents old house. That house will have room for kids IF I decide to go that route. It would also have enough room for a friend to move in IF I get that brave. Or if I decide to stick with my wicked ways, there is plenty of space for that too. So first I'll move and then... I guess I'll figure that out when I get there.